Another F-Word: The Sequel

The feminist movement (all three waves of it) changed the face of the business sector, the public sector, the social sector, the financial sector...and on goes the list.  I must admit that not all that has come out of the feminist movement has been positive, but in it's basic form - creating equality for men and women - I am a fan.

I think that it is the feminist in me, then, that groans when I think about how much of church culture treats the role of the woman.  And I don't just mean in church leadership.  I mean in the church as a whole.  (Again, I am one of the fortunate souls that finds myself in a church that "gets" this!) 

I grew up in a church where the women put on meals, made meat pies, and baked to fund-raise for one cause or another (good stuff, I admit), but never did they crack open a Bible together. 

As I stare at my two month old daughter while writing this, I hope to tell her all of this in the past tense.  That there was a season in church life when women suffered from a tragic idea then known as "women's ministry".  It wouldn't have been bad if it was actual ministry to women.  If it dealt with spiritual issues, Biblical depth, and/or solid times of prayer and encouragement.  (And sometimes, it did).  But women's ministry rarely dealt with much of substance.  It did, however, teach women to knit, crochet, quilt, bake, fund-raise, be good wives/mothers, and on goes the list.  These groups rarely dealt with significant spiritual issues.  And it makes me sad this is called "women's ministry".

In theory, I do like the idea of gender-based groups for some things.  I think in many ways women do profit from being with other women at times for discussion and conversation, and to be sharpened and encouraged.  Our pendulum hasn't had enough time shifting in the opposite direction to allow women to feel the same sense of equality in the church that they have had in the public sector.  I do not feel, however, that the church needs to create groups for women to simply bake, make, or take.  I could go on on this issue, but will direct you now to a great article that speaks volumes on this by Sarah Bessey, "Why We Don't Need "Women's Ministry". 

I think that we finally live in a time and culture where women's voices are being taken seriously in the church, and I think that we have to reject some of these old types of "women's ministries" to continue to be taken seriously (and to grow!).  Don't get me wrong, I don't think that "women's ministry" as an entity needs to be gone, but it needs to be changed DRASTICALLY if it is to remain.

Journalist and author, Lois Wyse, once wrote: "Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths."  When I read this, I thought, This is so true.  But there should be somewhere that they should not have to apologize. That place should be the church!  But sadly, it rarely is.  The church should allow men to be weak, and allow women to be strong without need to apologize for either.

If women's ministry were to remain, I'd hope that there wouldn't be any apologies for women desiring to go deeper, to take the next step, to engage in real discussions, to dive into Scripture, to be empowered, to grow in leadership, to be encouraged in the gifts that God has given them (sigh, even if that is baking...I guess), to be discipled and to disciple, and to be encouraged to live a life that we have been called to.  If that was women's ministry, well then, I'd be down with that.  But I'd also be cool to invite men into the mix too.

My grandfather, now 92 years-old, used to attend "Women's Aglow" Breakfasts.  Granted, he was a pastor, but this did not fall into his list of duties.  Nope.  He attended because he wanted to support the women.  He wanted to see what was happening in leadership development.  He wanted to check out the empowering and encouraging.  He wasn't intimidated by the strength of women, and his tears allowed him to reveal that he wasn't intimidated by his own weaknesses.

I do think that the occasional session with gender-specific groups is cool.  Studies show that girls tend to speak up less in groups with guys.  They need to be given the encouragement to be able to speak up with girls and guys (so that this doesn't have to continue to be the case).  And guys tend to hold back on certain issues when girls are present.  But I think that both genders have so much to offer one another.

Does women's ministry need to end?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  But I do think that it needs to be seriously re-evaluated (as does "men's ministry").  I want my daughter to grow up in a church where she doesn't get asked to bake cookies simply because she is a female (and seriously, I hope she doesn't because unless she takes a class she won't know how!), but if she does get asked that her male-friends are asked as well. 

I want my daughter to grow up in a church that values her as an active, complete member who can contribute to discussions, fill roles, and speak confidently without opposition because of her gender.  I hope, in this way, that she's a feminist too.  But I hope that she doesn't realize it because the concept won't even be relevant at that point, it'll just be how life is.