I was at the ATM at a branch of my bank today when I had this strange semi-flashback/epiphany moment: as a kid I knew all of our bank-tellers and they knew me. Going to the bank wasn't just a "keep-your-head-down-punch-in-your-pin-number" kind of moment. It was a trip to the bank. We used to go in, chat with the tellers, hear them brag about their kids, my parents would brag about us. We'd get a hard candy or a sticker or something, and oh yeah, we'd do banking at some point there too. The tellers even helped me to memorize my account number as a kid.
To this very day, I can still remember two of the tellers: Vicky and Brenda. Both were really friendly, and always seemed genuinely interested in who I was and what I was up to. And, according to my parents, both still ask about what I am doing in life. Now, I'll admit, some of that is from the charm of the small town I grew up in, but I believe a good deal of it has to do with the weekly or bi-weekly encounters we had with the tellers.
I bank at ATMs now. It seems so convenient. I don't even have to go into the bank sometimes. I can drive-thru on the days that I don't want to get out of the car or don't want to actually encounter anyone. But what about the bank-tellers in my area now? I couldn't even tell you the name of one, or identify anyone's face if given the opportunity - and I use banking services (via an ATM) at least once a week. Not only have I allowed the convenience of ATMs to make me lazy, it has made me less relational.
Now, I'll admit, all of these thoughts are a result of the fact that I have recently been "steeped" in this type of conversation. At The Meeting House - my church and place of employment - we are currently on a series called "Rage Against the Machine" being taught by Bruxy Cavey, our teaching pastor. There is surprisingly less cursing involved in this series than one would think, but it is full of some pretty great lessons. The primary discussion that the series has sparked is "what is the proper place for technology?" How does technology draw us together or pull us apart?
The ATM scenario got me wondering: what other things - things that I don't even really think about - pull me away from people and relationships in the name of convenience?
There are the obvious answers: texting on the phone versus actually calling, emailing/facebooking/instant messaging short messages and feeling like I'm staying well-connected with people, getting stuck reading tweets or facebook statuses in lieu of actually taking interest in people face-to-face, and on and on. But what are the less obvious things ingrained in our everyday that draw us out of relationship in the name of convenience?
Once upon a time - not that long ago - microwaves didn't exist. Not just microwaves but other little household appliances that cut out steps and reduce preparation time. I'm not saying this is all a bad thing. I, personally, love being able to reheat a meal in a minute or less! However, one of the things that this has done is taken some of the community out of the kitchen. I have been in different places, different cultures where cooking is a community or group event. There is something relationally rich about multiple people working in a kitchen together peeling, grating, roasting, mixing, and of course, chatting. (Imagine your Grandmother's House at Christmas time!) But the convenience of a microwave meal or a quick run through a fast-food restaurant can take away some of this shared time.
In fact, there are numerous examples of this type of thing: where our desire for the "instant" or most convenient way of doing something kills our opportunity to do things in community - even when we have the time.
Technology is a great gift, but it is also a life-sucker. When I pop into the homes of different pre-teens and youth that I know, there are often a few common threads: kids on laptops, kids on gaming stations, kids watching tv, and/or kids with headphones in ears. Even when "friends" are over all of these things are happening. Growing up, when we had friends over, we went outside immediately and made our own entertainment or hung out indoors chatting or playing off-screen games. As much as technology has allowed us to stay connected, it has made our relationships a great deal more superficial.
I'm not on a soap-box in all this - this is for me too. I definitely choose convenience over relationships 9 times out of 10. And why? I crave relationships. God has given me the strong desire for them, and yet, I use convenience to avoid them. What a strange thing that I have given into. I am so entrenched in the online-screen-driven culture that I neglect one of the things I desire the most: relationships.
So where do I go with this? What do I do? Well, I might just try using a teller the next time I head to the bank. I might see who I can cook a meal with. I might even cut down on my emails, facebook messages, texts, and replace them with a coffee with a friend or an actual phone call. It's not much, but I really do believe that God has such rich gifts to give us in relationship. Convenient or not...why should I miss out?
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