Yesterday, as I sat in front of the tv for lack of anything else to do, I was watching Access Hollywood or Entertainment Tonight or something like it for about the third night in a row when I remember thinking, "Seriously, I have seen about as much as I can handle about Anna Nicole Smith, her son dying, her paternity suit, and all of the crap that she entails..." [somewhat paraphrased].
At 1:30 this morning, (because I'm in some pretty good pain...or rather, bad pain... and am having a horrible time trying to sleep), I started surfing the net when I read on yahoo news that Anna Nicole had collapsed and died at her hotel. She was 39.
When I read this, I was struck with serious guilt (for a couple of reasons).
For one, I have judged everything about this woman for the past few years that I have heard about her on entertainment shows. I mean, even in the report of her death, the information given about her was somewhat less than flattering: married young, divorced, had a child young, pursued fame and fortune, becomes a gold-digger, married an 89 year old, he died, she fought for his fortune, has another child, first child dies of O.D. at age of 20, paternity in question for second child, lawsuit lingers...that's it. That's what was told of her life. Not only should I not have judged her at all, I should have felt compassion for her, but I didn't. The thought didn't even cross my mind. Until tonight. Until she was dead.
I mean, the reality is, I can't believe I am even giving this as much thought as I am. I have never met this woman. I know only what I have seen or heard about her from the media. And yet, I have judged the crap out of her. Now, she's dead and I feel guilty because instead of seeing her as my neighbour, (as someone who I have been called to love and feel compassion for), I saw her as trash. But, I regret --- though I didn't even know her --- not seeing her as the what I know she truly was; that is, whether most people believe it or not, she was a creation of God. One of His children.
Her life may have been misdirected, but it makes me wonder what could have been. It makes me wonder how many people, people just like me, judged her based on the superficial? What if someone treated her with respect and dignity at some point in her life? What if she wasn't judged? What if someone cared for her as a person? Maybe this wouldn't have made a difference at all, but maybe it would have.
I wouldn't have believed it, if someone told me yesterday that Anna Nicole's death would have an impact on me, but in a weird way, the news of it was a smack on the head for me to stop judging and start caring. It's funny because at church and even tonight at home church, we have been discussing the realities of loving our neighbour, the Good Samaritan, and the deeply rooted compassion and desires for justice that we are meant to have as Christians. I felt that in these areas, on these topics, I had been doing a pretty good job. But, I was wrong and it was Anna Nicole who made me realize it. Who would have guessed?
1 comment:
Apparently Rosie O'Donnell actually said something similar to what you said in the first paragraph, only she said it on her nationally aired TV show The View.
I don't even know if I can count the number of times that woman has put her foot in her mouth in her short tenure on that show.
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