unHOLY Fridays: UNcluttered

Sitting in my living room as I write this blog, I see clutter.  It's unintended clutter, but clutter none the less.  I've got my box of Christmas decorations that has yet to be carried upstairs to our storage closet.  There are a couple of board games, the Christmas presents we received but have yet to put away, a box of scripts, batteries, video games, controllers, magazines, my broom, my guitar that I haven't played in over five months and then the barrage of baby stuff: a bumbo, an exersaucer, a Jolly Jumper, a play mat, bibs, bottles, teddy bears and their friends, Sophie the chew toy and her twin, Sophie #2, teething rings, spit up blankets, the list goes on...

All of this stuff is great stuff.  It's all been a blessing - very little of it is stuff that we have bought, but rather stuff we have been given and we're very appreciative.  But this doesn't negate the fact that as it sits here un-put-away it is part of the clutter.

I'll be honest, not just my physical life feels cluttered.  It can be easy for my mind and spiritual life to feel this same clutter.  My mind can easily become cluttered with thoughts and worries: my husband, my daughter, my job (yes, I know I'm on mat-leave, but it's hard to totally check out!), my extended family, money, appointments, and yeah, my relationship with Jesus too.

It's weird when my spiritual life feels cluttered.  If you've ever had this experience, you know what I mean.  It feels like you can't find the space to just "be" with Jesus.  I feel cluttered with other thoughts: of why I haven't been reading more Scripture, what other theological books I should be reading, hiccups in my prayer life, conversations I'd wish I'd had, podcasts I'd like to hear and so on.

Clearing away the clutter of this stuff can feel just as overwhelming as clearing away the clutter in my living room. You can just start at working at it and realize there is more clutter than you initially thought.  Finding the space for time with Jesus has been tricky lately.  And, it's started to come to the point where I will take what I can get.

This morning, while feeding my daughter, I caught a little time with Jesus.  It was refreshing, but not enough.  To be honest, I'm not sure how and when to get the time and space that I would like with Jesus these days.  I take it in the shower, or when I'm driving while my daughter sleeps, and that's about the best times I get.

I guess the reality of this post is my admission and desire to want more time with Jesus.  I want to give Him my best, but not sure what that is these days.  I long for things to be more uncluttered and probably have to realize that it'll be a work in process (both mentally and physically).  And so, thanks for reading today.  Not my usual post of something more, but just a confession this time around.  If you have any ideas of how to create better space, your help would be awesome.