I've grown up in a very sarcastic culture. I'm sure you have too. Back-handed comments, ripping on people in "jest", tearing someone down for the sake of a laugh...these are all things that I experienced throughout high school, university, and even on into my time in ministry.
I had a friend once tell me that "trash talk is the new love language". And while, I think that is, in part, true in the culture that we live in, I don't necessarily agree that it is healthy. Maybe I've become a little more sensitive in my time in ministry and due to the fact that I am currently pregnant, but I think that because sarcasm is in so many ways embedded in our culture, I think it can be a refreshing thing for the church, a Christian community, to reduce the sarcasm and be counter-cultural in that way.
You may be thinking, You are being overly sensitive. Sarcasm is just fun or funny, and if people can't laugh at themselves, then they need to relax. And I honestly think that in some cases that can be true. But I have also seen a number of situations when my heart has broke for recipients of sarcasm.
I was in a setting with a group of older members of one of our youth groups. 16, 17, 18 year old teens who love Jesus, and I know, love each other. But what a couple of them didn't realize is that one of them was struggling deeply and genuinely with an image problem. They made sarcastic comments to her about something to do with her looks, and I could see the pain in her eyes.
I was in another setting where a pre-teen boy, who doesn't have a strong father figure, and truly looks up to pretty much any man, was the recipient of sarcastic comments from an older man in our community. I could see the hurt in his eyes, but I know he didn't know how to respond.
In both situations, the person who tossed out the sarcasm - I believe - in no way meant to hurt the other, but that was the clear result in my opinion. And, I don't think that this is limited to sarcasm exchanged between teenagers or aimed at teenagers. I think that many adults, whether they'd admit it or not, are internally injured by pointed words tossed at them all of the time. And, I don't think it simply has to do with learning to laugh at yourself - which I believe is a healthy habit - but I think it has to do with the elements of truth in sarcasm that makes it hurt that much more.
What would our church communities, youth groups, home churches, small groups, etc. look like if we actually took Paul's words to the Ephesians seriously. Check out Ephesians 4:29-32:
29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own,[e] guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
...Let everything you say be good and helpful. I'll be honest and straight-up here, that's stinkin' hard! How is that even possible? How do we work towards that? I don't exactly have an answer for that nor do I feel equipped or have the experience in doing that to say, THIS is how...but I would say, it can't hurt to try. Sure, we'll all slip. Toss a sarcastic comment away here and there. Drop an insult. But the more conscious of it, I imagine, the less we'll do it. The more we insert it into our small group culture, the more we'll use loving words, words of encouragement, and helpful things to one another.
I have a hard time believing that Jesus and his disciples dropped sarcastic comments in their everyday conversations. I do believe that Jesus had a sense of humor and that he knew how to use it, but I don't think he used it at someone else's expense. As we seek to live more Christ-like, I wonder if that means dropping the sarcasm and picking up the encouraging words. Infusing our conversations, our settings, our community more with encouragement as opposed to sarcasm. How would you be different?
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